Come to think, it's not THAT hot out lately. In fact, it's pretty cold, which is a little weird. It was pouring out earlier (it being 3:50 AM right now) for a good three hours straight. Awesome. Rain really cheers me up.
I'm a little tired right now and I know I should do something, ANYTHING for 'school' but I feel too drained to even log into my homepage. I don't do that often anymore; actually logging in, I mean. They don't give a shit. I can't really bring myself to bring a shit. I'm a very unmotivated person. How will I make a living during college? Well, considering I'm going to be living alone (or with Ally) in some small apartment and hopefully be working at a bookstore until I publish a novel, I guess it won't be too difficult. Then again...
I don't really fear failing my classes. Especially American Gov., because like I've said before...I'm never going to use that information in my future, let alone retain it. The only thing I actually fear is disappointing Mom, which is motivation in itself but not nearly enough.
I'm going to Cass's Friday; don't know what we'll be doing come to think. Probably nothing, like we usually do...er, not do. Oh well, at least I'll get my Hana-kimi vol. 1 back. I haven't been by her place since the 'incident' between me and a popular guy amongst our social circle, something I really don't feel like going into right now. I'm over it in whole, but I've vented about it so many times directly after it happened that it feels pointless to write about again.
Which is another thing. What is an essay, anyway? All you're REALLY doing is regurgitating information to somebody who is probably already aware of such repetitive enlightenment, and even if they aren't aware of it beforehand, all YOU'RE really doing is repeating what somebody else has written in a different format of words. It's a cycle of "this is never going to come in handy in any career I actually pursue" bullshit. You're just reassuring your instructor that you've learned something from the lesson and know what you're talking about, so what's the big deal? Why do I need to PROOVE that I know what I know? Isn't it good enough for you that I know it? Why do I need to prove such trivialities to somebody who has some degree in teaching English or literature? And do teachers ever go insane from teaching the same crap, assigning the same projects, and making the students repeat what they've learned that you've already taught them and know year after year after year?
Being a teacher must really suck, but that's no excuse to keep in check of my own laziness. It's their damn career choice, make sure your students are on task for once! They don't give a shit. Home-school teachers REALLY don't give a shit because they're not the ones teaching you, the home-schooled students' text books are, so all they're really doing is baby-sitting on top of teaching their own ACTUAL students in an actual public school system. They suck at baby-sitting and shouldn't get paid for their lack of attentiveness. So you correct my work and make sure I know what I probably already knew, big deal.
Ally told me the other day that I need to do my Prealgebra after I told her that I'm way behind. I said that I'll never use it in the present or future so I don't really care, and she said yes I will because I'll have to know it in order to learn next year's Algebra, and the Algebra following that, and the Algebra following that. So really, all she was saying is that I need to learn Prealgebra this year so that I can continue learning crap I'll never use in my lifetime throughout highschool until I enter the real world where I'll probably never use said crap ever again. I know basic math, so do I really need to know what x equals beyond that?
I'm smart. Initially. I don't think intelligence is based upon your GPA. You could have a 4.0 and still be a complete idiot in my book. I have common sense, but I'm realistically lazy. Secular humanism is pretty depressing...in a non-depressing way. See, I'm smart already.
Welp, I should probably at least TRY to read A Separate Peace now since I'm obviously not gonna write that one essay for English anytime soon. Here's to a sucky, procrastination-prone week!
-Grimster